Why Are You Here?

Last week, I shared that a few years ago, an interviewer asked me a big question, “If people want to reach their full potential, where would they start?” And that my reply was that there are three critical things to start with: knowing who you are, why you’re here, and what you want.

So if I asked you why you’re here, on this planet, at this time, would you have an answer?  Do you know what your life purpose is? Does it guide you?

It’s Bigger Than Goals

Your purpose transcends your goals.  It’s the big picture.  It answers the question, “What are you here to do?” It’s inspiring, engaging and clear.  It creates a passion, a feeling of significance, a focus for your life. Identifying your purpose enables you to choose what to give your time, energy, and attention to rather than being sidetracked by distractions.

I’m embarrassed to say that throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I was famous for my “five minute ideas.” That’s what my friends and my family called them.  I’d get a big idea, a big vision, pursue it briefly with great passion— then I was off to something else that caught my attention and captured my imagination.  My life lacked focus.  I chased bright, shiny objects. I had the attention span of a three year old.

Once I discovered my life purpose, I found the focus my life had been lacking. Suddenly, a lot of my life experiences lined up. They made sense. They were leading me to this realization.

I knew what I was here to do. I learned to say, “no” to things that weren’t aligned with my purpose.

5 Steps to Clarity

You may be wondering, “How the heck do I get clear about my life purpose? That sounds like a huge undertaking!”

It’s not as huge as it sounds. Here’s a process for you.

First, identify your UDQs, your unique, distinctive qualities, such as intelligence,curiosity, exuberance, integrity, commitment.   To get to these, you might think about how you’d describe yourself, or qualities that others have pointed out to you.

If you’re really stuck, ask a few friends what they think your distinctive qualities are.  As part of a planning process I used for this year, I did this. It was quite interesting to see how my friends and colleagues perceived me, and how similar and different they were from my own perceptions.

Second, think of the impact you’d like to have on the world, and on those you interact with. How will people and the world be better off as a result of your having lived your purpose?  Dream about this a little.  Imagine it vividly!

Third, make a list of as many action verbs as you can think of. Try each one on.  Circle those that get you excited, that speak to you.  Then narrow it down to two or three.  Examples of action verbs might be such things as build, motivate, educate, defend, discover, communicate, share, produce, work, explore, and improve.

Fourth, identify who you’re here to impact or help.

Fifth, combine your work in the first four steps into your Life Purpose Statement. Play with the words. Combine them in different ways.  Write down your purpose, go off and leave it for a while, then come back to it.  Is it simple? Clear? Easy to understand? Brief enough to remember?  Does it inspire and excite you?  Does it give you goosebumps?

As an example, here’s mine:

To make a difference by inspiring and empowering people

to live their dreams.

When you have your statement, post it where you will see it.  Carry it in your wallet.

Engage with it each day.  It will provide you with inner guidance, direction, and focus. It will lead you to everything that will support it, and give you the permission to say, “no” to the things that don’t.

I can’t wait to hear what your life purpose is!  Won’t you share it with us in the comments?

Bookmark It

A few years ago, an interviewer asked me a big question, “If people want to reach their full potential, where would they start?” That’s a great question!  I told him it’s critical to start with three things—knowing who you are, why you’re here, and what you want.

These three things will be the focus of my next three posts.  I want to share this with you because without solid grounding in these three things, it’s too easy to lose focus and get distracted by the next bright, shiny object. Then, your dreams die slowly. Your life gets off track.  You spend all of your time responding to other peoples’ needs and desires, because you’re not clear on your own.

And you’re left with the feeling that there’s got to be more to life than this.

Who The Heck Are You Really?

The place to begin is having deep knowledge of yourself— of who you are at the core of your being.  Not what society says you should be, not what the expectations of the people in your life say you should be—but who you really are. As a woman.  As a feisty woman.  As a very feisty woman.

Here are some questions to help you explore this a bit.

I’d suggest that you not just read through these, say, “Interesting”, and move on to your next task.  Take some quiet time and ask yourself these questions, one at a time. Spend a little bit of time reflecting on each one before you move to the next.

12 ½  Questions to Ponder

1. 1. 1. What is most important to me in my life?
      2. What are my deepest, most cherished values and how do I live them?
      3. What do I deeply enjoy doing?             3½.   What brings me the most joy?
      4. What have been the happiest moments in my life and why?
      5. What fulfills me and gives me great satisfaction?
      6. What makes me want to pump my fist up in the air and yell, “Yes!”?
      7. At what times does life feel the most juicy, and like I’m getting the most out of life?
      8. What part do relationships play in my life?
      9. What would I be doing with my life if money were no object?
      10. What gifts can I share with the world?
      11. What would I do if I knew that success was guaranteed and I would not fail?
      12. What do I want to be remembered for in my lifetime?

 

Go Deep!

If you want to take this even deeper, answer a question—then ask yourself, “Why is that important to me?”  Then take that answer, and ask “Why is that important to me?” Then take that answer, and ask “Why is that important to me?” Then take that answer, and ask “Why is that important to me?” You might be surprised where those answers take you. Use this process for each question.

Now What?

Once you know who you are, you’re one step closer to reaching your full potential. You know what’s important to you. You know what your priorities are. You know where you want to invest your time and energy.  And this gives you permission to say “no” to all the rest—to the potential distractions, to things that don’t support you, to things that don’t bring you closer to your goals.

In the comments section below, share who you are with us.  Tell us what you’ve discovered. What words describe you?  Can you choose three words, or a phrase, or a sentence or two?  Let your comment be a declaration and an affirmation of the awesome truth of who you are.  Let us cheer you on!

Bookmark It

I was in New York City last month, and had an opportunity to walk the High Line, the city’s newest park 30 feet above the streets.  Although there were great views of the New York skyline, the Hudson River, and the Chelsea Piers, the thing that really got my attention was a big yellow sign.

“Stop—I have to take a picture of this. It will definitely end up in a speech at some point,” I said to my friends.  They gave me those small, kind of patronizing smiles people give you when they think you’re nuts, and waited patiently while I shot a few photos.

Thinking or Doing?

I had to have this photo.  I knew this was important. I knew that I did this “thinking about stuff instead of doing stuff” pretty often. It was as if they put this big yellow sign there as a personal wake up call just for me!

As we continued down the path, I found myself thinking about how many times I think something to death, research something to death, plan something to death, before I actually take action. Sometimes, that process goes on for so long, I lose interest in the project.

So this big yellow sign was there to remind me! The sooner I park my car, the sooner I can stop thinking about parking my car. The sooner I write this blog post, the sooner I can stop obsessing thinking about writing this blog post. The sooner I write my next book, the sooner I can stop thinking about having to make progress on writing my next book.

Taking Action

I met John Haydon in the comments section of Sarah Robinson’s blog a few months ago. He had posted a comment that I now have on a post-it note on my computer. I look at it every day.  He said, “Action is the biggest middle finger to doubt.”

Action. Not researching it. Not thinking about it. Not planning it. Doing it!

Get It Done!

I sent him a direct message on Twitter telling him how much I liked what he’d written.  He turned me on to the Cult of Done Manifesto, which now hangs on my bulletin board.

I’m getting better. I’m moving from thinking, researching, and planning— to goals, focus, and action much more quickly. I’m producing more and getting more done. Yet, it’s a process!  It definitely wasn’t a switch I flipped.  It didn’t change overnight.

Share Your Experience

So what’s your experience?  Are you parking the car, or thinking about parking the car? Are you thinking about your project, or completing your project?

What are your thoughts? Where do you struggle? What tips do you have for focus, action, or completion?  Share them below!

Bookmark It

“Girls Don’t Brag”

When I was a little girl, I was taught not to brag. Oh, not just by my mother. It was the “secret code” under the surface of girl culture.  One did not brag. And if one of our little girlfriends did brag, you can bet that someone would ask, “Who does she think she is?”

In boy culture, bragging was okay. Competition was encouraged. Being the biggest, or the fastest, or the toughest earned you bragging rights. But not for girls. We learned cooperation. We learned support. We learned equal and fair and “play nice.”

Feisty Women Promote Themselves

Fast forward to today.  Women often are quiet about their successes, don’t know how to effectively share their “wins,” and don’t get the visibility they deserve.  They lose promotions, lose potential business deals, and aren’t heard above the noise.

So, as feisty women, we have to learn how to brag. We have to become okay with it. Not in an obnoxious, smug, walking billboard kind of way, but in a way that enables us to talk about ourselves and our accomplishments and get people’s attention—in a good way.

So how do we do that?

Six Tips for Effective Bragging

1) Change your mindset. You have to believe that it’s okay to talk about yourself. You have to give yourself permission to share your successes. You have to silence the voice in the back of your head that will say, “Who do you think you are?”  You have to revel in your own brilliance and accomplishment.  It’s not egotistical—it’s self affirming! It’s a way of honoring who you are and what you’ve done! READ MORE

Bookmark It

There’s a deep truth that many of us don’t want to hear. We turn away from it, ignore it, and say it isn’t so.  None of that changes it. It’s still the truth.

Here it is.  All of the choices you have made up until this point make up the life you are living right now.  All of them.  The jobs you’ve had, the books you’ve read, the places you’ve traveled, the relationships you’ve formed, the opportunities you’ve pursued or not pursued, your self concept, what you think, what you say to yourself on a daily basis, and what you’ve done with the cards you’ve been dealt in your life.  All of these things combined created your current life.

You are 100% Responsible for Your Life

Look in the mirror. The face you see staring back at you is 100% responsible for your life.

READ MORE

Bookmark It

It’s spring in Colorado. Well, kind of. It’s not the kind of spring I used to experience when I lived in Atlanta—not the blooming azalea and dogwood kind of spring, not the lush green-ness kind of spring, not the landscape awash with ga-zillions of flowers in bright colors kind of spring.

No, it’s a Colorado kind of spring. The kind where last week, on Monday, it was beautiful and sunny and 64 degrees, and on Tuesday, I was outside in a snowstorm, shoveling a foot of wet, soggy snow the consistency of cement, wondering if my evening pottery class would be canceled due to the treacherous roads. READ MORE

Bookmark It