There’s a deep truth that many of us don’t want to hear. We turn away from it, ignore it, and say it isn’t so.  None of that changes it. It’s still the truth.

Here it is.  All of the choices you have made up until this point make up the life you are living right now.  All of them.  The jobs you’ve had, the books you’ve read, the places you’ve traveled, the relationships you’ve formed, the opportunities you’ve pursued or not pursued, your self concept, what you think, what you say to yourself on a daily basis, and what you’ve done with the cards you’ve been dealt in your life.  All of these things combined created your current life.

You are 100% Responsible for Your Life

Look in the mirror. The face you see staring back at you is 100% responsible for your life.

Many people believe the opposite.  They believe that “facts” and circumstances of their lives have shaped who they are today.  They allow themselves to remain “victims” of those circumstances.  They get stuck in “if only,” and “what could/should have been.”

Those events, those circumstances don’t shape our lives—we do!

It’s how we think about those events, what meaning we assign to them, what action we choose to take, what impact we let them have—it’s those things that shape our lives. And it all starts with our thoughts and our beliefs.

Stuff Happens

Let’s face it. Challenging circumstances happen. Relationships end, jobs disappear, children disappoint us, friends move away, people die.  The question is what we’ll do with these challenges.

Will we let them stop us dead in our tracks, give up, and let our challenges keep us stuck? Or will we find our way through them, use them as a catalyst to dig deep, to remind ourselves of our values and our value, to pursue our true passions, to live more fully than we’ve ever lived before?

Ultimately, the choice is ours.

The Only Thing Standing Between Us and Success Is…

One of my clients, Larry Firestone, the Chief Financial Officer of Advanced Energy,   has a brilliant saying. He says, “The only thing standing between us and success…is us!” Yikes!  That means the only thing standing between me and success is me.  The only thing standing between you and success is you.  The only thing standing between us and what we want most in the world is us–our thought patterns, our beliefs, our willingness to take action.

Three Action Steps to Change Your Thinking

So what’s a Feisty Woman to do? How do we take charge of our thoughts?  How do we move gracefully and gratefully beyond our challenges?

• Action Step 1: Check Out Your Mental Landscape.

   

  Monitor your thoughts for a 24 hour period.  What percentage of your thoughts are positive, life affirming, building you up, giving you confidence, moving you forward?  What percentage of your thoughts are negative, self-critical, stealing your power and keeping you stuck?

  Are there any themes?  Patterns? Recurring thoughts?  You can’t change what you’re not aware of.

• Action Step 2: Tell Your Inner Critic to Take a Hike.

  When you notice that you’re thinking self-critical thoughts, stop right there. Say to yourself, “Stop! That’s a lie. It has nothing to do with me. The truth is…” then affirm something positive about yourself.  Over time, your inner critic will have less power over your thinking and your life.

• Action Step 3: Celebrate Yourself Every Day!

  Each evening, before you call it a day, write down five things you feel good about yourself for from your day. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as writing, “Today, I feel good about taking a few extra moments to be kind to the clerk in the drugstore.”

  Or it could be a bigger thing. “Today, I feel good about finishing my project two days before the deadline.”

  Five a day, every day.

  Why does this work? Most of us go through life noticing all the things we do wrong, all the things we screw up.  We walk out of a meeting and say to ourselves, “I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I said that.”  Or we drop something, and say, “I’m such a klutz.”  Research shows that this kind of thinking goes on all day long.

  Celebrating yourself every day changes the pattern. It reprograms your thinking.
  Knowing you have to write down five things at the end of the day has you >paying attention to how fabulous you are all day long. You’re looking for all you’re doing right, instead of what you perceive you’re doing wrong.

  After about a month, you’ll notice a huge shift in your self concept. You’ll be more confident, more joyful, and more powerful.

Use these three action steps to change your thinking, and you’ll be happy to say that you are 100% responsible for your life!

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