Like snowflakes, the human pattern is never cast twice.

We are uncommonly and marvelously intricate

 in thought and action.”

                                                                  ~Alice Childress

 As I read this quote, I was struck by both how true it is, and by how so many people don’t live in a way where they are authentically bringing their uniqueness to the world.

Each of us has a life experience that no one else has had.  We have passions, skills, talents, interests, and ways to express them that are unique to us. We have our own unique way of communicating and of being in the world.

Yet so many people seem to be reluctant to step into their power in a big, bold way. They hold back, letting fear stop them from authentically expressing 100% of who they are.  They have this nagging little voice telling them they’re not quite good enough, or asking them, “Who do you think you are?!”

If you’re one of them, I’ll say what Cher said to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck, “Snap out of it!” (Watch it below)

Snap Out of It 

No one else can bring what you do to the world. It’s up to you.  If you hold back, the world loses what you have to offer. No one benefits from all you have experienced, all you have learned, and all you could share.

So here’s what I’d ask you to consider:

1.  Where do I hold back? Where do I stop myself?

2.  How would my life be different if I was willing to really be 100% authentic and true to myself, 100% of the time, and was willing to share my gifts with the world in a big way?

3.  What impact would that have on my business?

I’d love to hear what you think.  Share your answers below. 

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I’ve made a lot of changes in my company this year.  I started a new company, Big Impact Speaking, and added it to my two already established companies, Feisty Women Rock! and The Diamond Success Group.

Each targets a different audience, and has a different set of products and services.  And here’s what I’ve noticed about this year.

I’ve had to learn a ton. As a successful professional speaker for the past 16 years, I know about speaking.  As a consultant and executive coach for the last 25 years, I know about coaching and about how to get people to their goals.

Yet, the world of internet marketing and all that goes along with it was new  to me.  I had a steep learning curve.  I knew nothing about sales pages, auto responders, joint ventures, telesummits, list building, and all that goes into what I needed to know to build Big Impact Speaking.

I needed to meet new people, learn new things, attend new events, network differently, and be willing to stretch myself. I could rely on what’s served me well all these years.

You see, it all started with a decision.  Once I decided to start this company, I knew that I would do what it took to learn what I needed to learn for it to be successful.  I invested in myself.  I hired coaches who understood the internet marketing world.  I read. I studied. I learned.

In today’s world, it’s “growth or stagnation.” We must be willing to continually evolve, to innovate and reinvent, to move beyond our comfort zones and step into the unknown. That’s the path to success. 

So here are some lessons I’ve learned this year. 

1. It starts with a decision.  Nothing happens until you make a decision.  I’d been considering starting Big Impact Speaking for several months.  I toyed with the idea. I dreamed about it. Nothing much happened.

But once I made the decision, I went into action. I figured out what I had to do.  And I began to do it.

2.  You have to be all in.  The path before me seemed a bit daunting.  But I was all in.  I knew I would do whatever it took.  I would learn what I needed to learn, and do what I needed to do.  I was on a mission—to help entrepreneurs learn to use speaking to get more clients, make more money, and have a bigger impact.  And I was super focused on helping as many entrepreneurs as I could.

3.  Strategy rocks!  There are a lot of moving parts in any business. There are a lot of opportunities and bright shiny objects that could be pursued (and I love me some bright, shiny objects!).

Having a strategy, and taking the action steps to make that strategy a reality keeps me focused. 

4.  It takes a village.  I wrote about this in my newsletter a couple of weeks ago. You can read the post here if you missed it. http://www.feistywomenrock.com/got-a-village.html   I’ve finally learned that I can’t do it all. I have a fabulous team and great resources that help me make it all happen.

5.  Become more.  With every thing I learn, every stretch goal I accomplish, every new thing I create, I evolve.  I reach more of my potential.  I grow.  I’m able to help more people.  I “rinse and repeat” and grow some more.  It’s exhilarating!

So what about you?

• Are you willing to grow, to evolve, to move out of your comfort zone?
• And what will you do TODAY to begin to make that happen?

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“The ultimate reason for setting goals is

to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

This was Paul Martinelli’s thought of the day on Monday.  And it is absolutely true!

You see, when you set a bit goal, you have to learn new things, connect with new people, find new resources.  You have to grow and develop and change. You have to become more.

You become bigger.  You live more of your potential. You can impact more people with what you offer. 

My friend Edie Galley called when I was in the middle of writing this blog post.  I told her what I was writing about, and she told me she’d recently reached a goal she’d been working on for two years.   

She said, “I love myself for who I had to become to reach that goal.  The end goal wasn’t the big thing.  How much did I have to grow, how much did I have to think, how much did I have to change to make that happen?  I had to become somebody more than I was in order to reach the goal. ”

So what about you? 

• What beliefs about yourself and what you can do would you have to let go of in order to go after what you really want?
• Are you willing to change?  Going after a big goal absolutely requires that willingness.  You can’t get bigger results if you’re not willing to change and grow!
• Are you willing to ask for help?  You’ll need to connect with people who know things you don’t know, and have done things you haven’t done.  You’ll have to ask for support.  You’ll need to find people to help you along the way.

So, set those big goals.  Be willing to change and grow.  And watch your business catapult to new levels of success!

I want to tell you about two big things going on…

The 4^th Annual Prosperity Conference with Jack Canfield and me!

This Un-Conference takes your business to the next level with All Star Experts to coach and guide you. Jack Canfield, Nancy Matthews, Simon T. Bailey, Craig Duswalt, Trish Carr, Wendi Blum, and ME!  Palm Beach, September 16-18

World Class speakers with real solutions to your real problems!

Check it out!  

Click below

 bit.ly/qW9gUE

The other big thing is a f*ree call with me! 

I’ve been talking to so many entrepreneurs lately who want to grow their business, make more money, and get their message out and have a bigger impact.

They want a foolproof way to fill their pipeline with ideal clients.

So I’m hosting this fr*ee call on September 14 to show you how to do this!

For all the information, click on this link…

http://bigimpactspeaking.com/rock10week/ava/

I hope to see you on this call.  No charge. Great information!

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It’s my intention to get up at 6am, and be out on one of our local trails by 7am, walking with Bud the Beagle at least three days a week.  However, finding the motivation to do this sometimes eludes me.

So I got smart. I have different girlfriends that I meet on different days of the week.  Sometimes it’s two days, sometimes it’s four, but every week, Bud the Beagle and I meet one of my girlfriends (and sometimes their dogs) for an hour or hour and a half walk.

Whether I want to get out of bed or not, someone is waiting for me, so I get my butt up and go.

My ex says that “it takes a village” to get me out walking.  And it does.  I need the accountability.

I use the same principle in my business.

There are things I’m great at—things that are in my sweet spot. I’m a great speaker and coach. I’m great at developing new programs and products.  I’m great at motivating other people, and helping them get from where they are to where they’d like to be.

So I focus my efforts there.  I love connecting with other people, and spend time doing that.

And I have created a village for the rest.  Ellen Bryant is genius at graphic design.  Me?  Not so much.  So Ellen is creating everything I need for my new brand.

Darcee Sellers is brilliant at all the stuff that goes into actually making my business work.  She gets my weekly newsletter out, has handled my sales pages, opt-in pages, autoresponders, shopping cart interfaces, and all the things that make things happen. She enjoys and excels at things that would make me crazy, and that I don’t understand.

Bryn Johnson is currently a mentor for me. Her sweet spot is planning and systems, two areas where I can use support.  And she knows way more than I do about processes for internet marketing.

I have an ex who is my best friend, who sees me through the stressful times, and celebrates with me when things go well in my business.

I go to a spiritual women’s group once a month, meet with many of my speaker buddies for a girl’s night out every couple of months, and have a host of brilliant friends and colleagues I can call for information and support.

That’s my village. My business could not be successful without them.  I am grateful for all that they do.

What about you?

• Are you trying to “lone ranger” it and do it all yourself?
• Are you sinking because you’re afraid or embarrassed to ask for help?
• Are you wasting time and spinning your wheels because you’re putting too much effort at things that are not your genius?

My advice?  Knock it off!

Figure out what your passion and talents are.  Know what your genius, your sweet spot is. Focus your efforts on what you’re great at.

And invite people to become part of your village to help with the rest.

Your success and your sanity depend on it!

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“Fear is one thing.

To let fear grab you and swing you around

by the tail is another.”

~Katherine Paterson

I’ve got some big, new things I’m developing in my business. I don’t know everything I need to know to make them happen. And I’m scared.  And that makes me happy!

You might be wondering, “Ava, why in the world would you be happy that you’re scared?”

I’m happy because it means I’m doing something big, something new, something that is going to stretch me and take me beyond what I’ve done before. I’ll have to learn new stuff, connect with new people.  It will require different thinking, new skills, and ongoing transformation of me and my business.

And that’s exciting.

I’ll have to move from my comfort zone into what I call my learning zone.  I’ll have to think bigger, play bigger, and risk bigger—which is both scary and exciting.

And I’m all in. I’m ready.

What about you? When you’re going after something big, and fear comes up (and it does for all of us), how do you react?  Do you throw your hands up in the air, yell “Yippeee!”, celebrate that you’re growing and taking a risk, and know that you just need to move beyond the fear and go after what you want?

Or do you let fear stop you, keep you small, and keep you from your goals and dreams?

It really is a choice!  It’s up to you.  Are you willing to be afraid?  Share your thoughts below…

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I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately talking with women entrepreneurs.  I love these conversations, because the women I talk with are passionate and excited about the difference they can make—but they are often getting in their own way.

I have a speaking gig tomorrow where I’ll be speaking to women about getting out of their own way, and about taking a leadership role.  As I was creating the handout for that session, I decided to put in a page about reclaiming your power.

Once I’d developed the list, I knew I wanted to share it with my community. So here it is:

1. Live your life today.  Don’t put your life on hold waiting to be something that you’re not.  Live your life to its fullest- right now!  Don’t wait until “someday,” until you “have it all together,” until “the stars line up.”  Today.  Now. No waiting.

2.  Treat yourself with respect and kindness. You will make mistakes.  You’re human.  Forgive yourself, learn what you can, and move on.  Be gentle with yourself.  You deserve it. No beating yourself up.

3.  Believe in yourself. Give yourself praise.  Focus on what you’re doing well.  Recognize yourself and feel gratitude for all the good you do- big and small.  Make a list of 25 things you’re proud of that you’ve accomplished over the last year.

4.  Visualize yourself as a success.  Your subconscious mind will act to turn your thoughts and beliefs into your reality.  What we believe, we can achieve.  Visualization is a powerful tool.  Use it daily.

5.  Develop yourself. Take time out of each day for self development and reflection.  Read (or listen to) a motivational message.  Be quiet with yourself and/or your spiritual guidance.  Grow a little each day.  Be willing to have “beginner’s mind.”

6.  Choose happiness. Commit yourself to it. It’s your choice.  Choose the half full glass instead of the half empty one.  I love the quote by Abraham Lincoln, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

7.  Dream big. Acknowledge the power within you.  What you can conceive in thought and believe in your heart, you can achieve in your life.  Never give up.  Go after what you really want. Don’t settle.

8.  Use positive affirmations.  It takes only 21 days for something to become a habit.  Combining visualization and affirmations will take you into the future you desire.

9.  Discover your unique purpose.  Finding your purpose or passion can be something that adds amazing focus and power to your life.  Everything falls into place.  Everything makes sense.  Your actions are focused on the difference you want to make in the world.

10. Remember that you’re unique.  No one else can do what you do in the way you do it.  Confidently share who you are.  Live juicy.  Tell your truth.  Stand in your power.

So which of these steps speaks to you?  Is there more than one?  Take some time this week to focus on the ones that will make the biggest difference in your life.

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You can learn new things at any time in your life

if you’re willing to be a beginner.

If you actually learn to like being a beginner,

the whole world opens up to you.

~Barbara Sher

We were born knowing very little. And over our lifetime, we’ve accumulated skills, knowledge, abilities, and expertise.  Some of us keep learning; others stop at a certain point.

Those that stop get to the point that they don’t want to look silly, they don’t want to look like they don’t have their act together, so they stop trying new things. And they get left behind.

In today’s world, things are moving too fast to stay where we are.  We must be open to new ideas, new experiences, new learning opportunities.  We must be willing to evolve, to reinvent, and to redefine ourselves.

And sometimes that means being a beginner.  It means not having it all together.  It means being willing to make mistakes, to learn from them, and to grow.

It means reading books, going to classes, getting coaching, attending learning events, and trying out new things.

I wouldn’t tell you to do something I’m not doing myself.  In the last couple of months, I’ve presented on two telesummits (new skill for me), learned how to do mosaics, took a pottery sculpture workshop, hired a new coach, took a sales skills workshop, and read two books in my field.

I’d challenge you to make a commitment to learn something new in the next 60 days.  Be brave. Try something you’ve wanted to try.  Be a beginner.  And open up your world.

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I’m going to admit something to you that I’m a little bit embarrassed by.  I watch America’s Got Talent. Now, I’m not much of a television person—I pretty much watch Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and HGTV.  But there’s something about America’s Got Talent that I really like.

I like seeing the amazing, undiscovered talent of some of the contestants.  And watching some of the less talented people is a bit like slowing down at the scene of an accident. I want to look away, but somehow I can’t.

Tuesday night, though, one of the contestants said something that I want to share with you. To give those of you who don’t watch the show some background, The Miami All Stars are a 42 person dance troupe from Miami. A husband and wife, who dance in the troupe, have trained the 40 young dancers.

Tuesday, they had a challenge. After rehearsing all week, they found out that there were legal issues with the song they were using, and they were not able to use that music.  Just hours before their live performance, they had to change the music, and therefore their act.

They did a fabulous job. The audience and the judges loved them.  After their performance, Nick Cannon, the host, asked, “How does it feel?”

I loved the leader’s answer. He said, “It feels great because we had some issues with the music, and we just got it a few hours ago.  And we had to get through. But life is about that. You must get through what life gives you. It is what it is. We don’t find excuses in this group.”

Now I don’t know about you, but I find that profoundly wise.  They could have let the sudden music shift blow their confidence.  They could have used it as an excuse not to give a stellar performance.  But they didn’t. They took a “no excuses” position, and did what it took to revamp the act and perform with excellence.

It got me thinking about speaking in front of audiences.  Often, things go wrong.  The speaker before you goes long, and your time is cut.  The meeting planner forgot to copy your handouts.  Although you had an agreement in advance that this would not happen, the wait staff is clearing the dishes off the tables during your after-dinner speech and is distracting the audience.

These things happen.  It’s critical that we take a “no excuses” stance when faced with these obstacles, and still deliver a speech that “wows” our audience and makes a difference in their lives. We have to be able to make it work and give our audience the experience they deserve.

It also got me thinking about our businesses.  Do you take a “no excuses” position and do what it takes to get the results that you want? Or do you let obstacles, setbacks, and circumstances get in your way?  Do you find excuses as to why you didn’t accomplish what you committed to do? Do you cut yourself too much slack?

I invite you to be like the Miami All Stars.  Let go of excuses, and blame and complaining.  And watch your life, your speaking, and your business transform.

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“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams. Of course I’ve got dreams.’  Then they put the box away and bring it out  once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even got out of the box.  It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams  on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.” Erma Bombeck

I love talking to entrepreneurs.  They are passionate about what they do, they want to have a big impact, and they have big dreams. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and they can talk endlessly about their passion.

And for many it stops there. They’re spinning their wheels, don’t have enough clients to make the money they want, and don’t know what to do to change that. 

Don’t be one of them. Develop a sound business strategy, create action steps to implement that strategy, and have successful client attraction processes.

The fastest path to cash, to clients, and to your dreams is positioning yourself as an expert, sharing information, and attracting clients who want to work with you. And there’s no better way to do that than through public speaking.

Are you positioning yourself for success? Do you know who your perfect target market and audience is?  Have you developed a signature speech?  Do you have the skills to deliver it powerfully from the stage?

If you haven’t grabbed my f*ree ebook, “Rock Your Speaking: Seven Secrets to Delivering Powerful Speeches that Grow Your Business, Make You Money, and Increase Your Impact,” you can get it here. It won’t cost you a thing, and it’s chock full of information.  It will help you position yourself for the success you crave and get that dream out of the box.

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Whenever you are giving a speech or a business presentation you need to own the room!

What exactly do I mean by that? Think back to some of the best speakers you have seen. They come up on stage or to the front of the room, and you immediately feel the energy in the room shift. All eyes are on them. They immediately establish rapport and relationship with the people they’re speaking to. Their presence has the audience paying rapt attention to their every word. They “own the room.”

If you regularly attend events and conferences, you know that not every speaker has this ability. Some get up in front of the room, and although they are sharing good information, they really never get to the point where the audience is enthralled with them and totally engaged with their content.

I’m convinced that more than technique, more than mere “stage presence,” there’s an underlying mindset that separates the great speaker from the good speaker—the speaker who sells their message or their product, and the one who doesn’t—the speaker who captivates their audience and the one who doesn’t.

Often, when I talk to entrepreneurs about using public speaking to attract more clients and make more money, they agree that it’s a great idea, but then their self-doubt kicks in. Their inner critic takes over and they begin to wonder, “Why would someone want to listen to me?” “Am I really good enough and charismatic enough to get in front of an audience?”

In order to own the room, you need to own your own power! You need to know in the core of your being, at the cellular level, that you have a message that people need to hear, and that you are the perfect person to be delivering that message.

You need to be confident and powerful and grounded in the depth of your expertise. No one else has your unique combination of talents, skills, knowledge, communication style, and life experiences. No one.

When you are in touch with your highest vision of yourself, you step out from that place of power. You speak boldly and confidently. You are powerful from the stage. You own the room.

Visualize who you want to be on stage the next time you give a speech or deliver a business presentation. See yourself being introduced, walking briskly and confidently to the center of the stage, taking a moment to smile, to ground yourself, to make eye contact with your audience, and to take control of the room.

Then visualize the conversation you have with that audience—the relationship and partnership you build with them. See yourself speaking in a laser-focused, dynamic way. Visualize your elation at the end of your program when your audience takes the action you intended for them to take.

See, that’s where it all starts. It starts in your own mind. It starts with owning your own power, stepping boldly into the place where you’re ready to express it, and then sharing it with your audience. That’s how you own the room. And that’s how you become a great speaker or presenter!

© 2011 Feisty Woman Productions

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