Like snowflakes, the human pattern is never cast twice.

We are uncommonly and marvelously intricate

 in thought and action.”

                                                                  ~Alice Childress

 As I read this quote, I was struck by both how true it is, and by how so many people don’t live in a way where they are authentically bringing their uniqueness to the world.

Each of us has a life experience that no one else has had.  We have passions, skills, talents, interests, and ways to express them that are unique to us. We have our own unique way of communicating and of being in the world.

Yet so many people seem to be reluctant to step into their power in a big, bold way. They hold back, letting fear stop them from authentically expressing 100% of who they are.  They have this nagging little voice telling them they’re not quite good enough, or asking them, “Who do you think you are?!”

If you’re one of them, I’ll say what Cher said to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck, “Snap out of it!” (Watch it below)

Snap Out of It 

No one else can bring what you do to the world. It’s up to you.  If you hold back, the world loses what you have to offer. No one benefits from all you have experienced, all you have learned, and all you could share.

So here’s what I’d ask you to consider:

1.  Where do I hold back? Where do I stop myself?

2.  How would my life be different if I was willing to really be 100% authentic and true to myself, 100% of the time, and was willing to share my gifts with the world in a big way?

3.  What impact would that have on my business?

I’d love to hear what you think.  Share your answers below. 

Bookmark It

In the weeks leading up to the event this past weekend where I shared the stage with Jack Canfield and delivered the closing keynote, I set some big goals.  Ridiculous goals, actually, now that I look back on it. 

I decided to: get my new website written and up, write and put up a sales page for my ten week program, recruit joint venture partners to promote my program and do teleclasses with them, host my own fr*ee teleclass, get new headshots, have new business cards designed, write the copy for new marketing materials and get them designed and printed, get a tradeshow display sign designed and created, and create two new audio products with downloadable workbooks.  On top of that, I needed to refine the two speeches I was going to be presenting at the event!

All in 3 ½ weeks.  This was originally going to be spread out through the 4^th quarter, but I decided I could get it done. 

As you can imagine, this required some long hours.  I worked from 7 am until I couldn’t think or see any more, usually about midnight.  I took one day off. The rest of my life was on hold.

I wasn’t stopping to create and prepare healthy meals. My house was chaos. My outdoor plants went unwatered. My bushes went untrimmed. I had no time for Bud the Beagle. I cancelled early morning walks with my girlfriends. My best friend even had to come over and cut up salad greens and veggies and fruit for me so that I’d have food to eat. I had no balance. I was fried.

A Recipe for Disaster

I had so much to do the night before I left that I didn’t finish until 5 am.  Unfortunately, I had to get up at 5:30 am to get to the airport for my flight.  So I never really slept.  Driving to the airport, I was incredibly tired.  I was fighting to stay awake.  And apparently, I lost the fight.

One moment I was driving along the highway at 75 mph, eagerly anticipating the conference and the opportunity to meet Jack Canfield.  The next moment, I found myself crashing into the median cables, screaming in terror, trying to get my car under control so I didn’t go into the ongoing traffic and cause a head on collision.  Two of my tires blew out, and my car finally came to a stop, crashing into the median.

I was totally shaken. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to call. I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t breathe. Physically, I was okay, but emotionally, I was in a meltdown. 

Over the next hour, it all got worked out. My best friend calmed me down over the phone. The police, the fire department and an ambulance came and went. The tow truck came, and the driver dropped me off at the airport so I could fly to Fort Lauderdale.

I had to wait in the airport for 7 ½ hours for the next flight, so I had a lot of time to think.  And to be incredibly grateful.  I was okay. I didn’t hurt or kill anyone else. I walked away without a scratch or an ache or pain. That’s a huge amount to be grateful for. It could have gone a lot of other ways.

This was a Big Fat Wakeup Call!

• I had to wake up to the fact that I am not superhuman.  I require sleep, healthy food, fresh air, and exercise. Things don’t go well when these necessities get ignored.

• I had to wake up to the fact that setting “stretch goals” is great, but setting goals that require an amount of work that no mere mortal could possibly accomplish without working 16 hours a day and forgoing sleep and a life is a really bad idea.

• I had to wake up to the fact that quite possibly (translation: “in reality”), I drove the team of people who were working with me (my amazing virtual assistant, web designer, graphic designer, and vice queen) nuts with these deadlines.  It’s amazing they didn’t fire me.

• I had to wake up to the fact that having a life— making time for fun, friends, art projects, walks with “Bud the Beagle”, and the other things in my life I love—is as important as my business.

• I had to wake up to the reality that I’ve been given a chance to do it differently.  And I know it’s going to be an ongoing challenge not to get sucked into the vortex of working too much.  I love what I do, I’m passionate about it, so it often doesn’t feel like work. And there’s more to my life than my business.  I’ve been given a second chance, and it’s time to do it differently.

 So this weekend, somewhere out in nature, I’ll be pondering all of this.  I’ll be dreaming, and planning, and relaxing, and being grateful for the chance to do it differently.

 Because it could have all gone differently.  I could have hurt or killed myself or someone else.  I was spared. 

 What about you? 

 What can you learn from my Big Fat Wake Up Call, and how does this apply to your life?  Let me know in the comments below.

Bookmark It

I’ve made a lot of changes in my company this year.  I started a new company, Big Impact Speaking, and added it to my two already established companies, Feisty Women Rock! and The Diamond Success Group.

Each targets a different audience, and has a different set of products and services.  And here’s what I’ve noticed about this year.

I’ve had to learn a ton. As a successful professional speaker for the past 16 years, I know about speaking.  As a consultant and executive coach for the last 25 years, I know about coaching and about how to get people to their goals.

Yet, the world of internet marketing and all that goes along with it was new  to me.  I had a steep learning curve.  I knew nothing about sales pages, auto responders, joint ventures, telesummits, list building, and all that goes into what I needed to know to build Big Impact Speaking.

I needed to meet new people, learn new things, attend new events, network differently, and be willing to stretch myself. I could rely on what’s served me well all these years.

You see, it all started with a decision.  Once I decided to start this company, I knew that I would do what it took to learn what I needed to learn for it to be successful.  I invested in myself.  I hired coaches who understood the internet marketing world.  I read. I studied. I learned.

In today’s world, it’s “growth or stagnation.” We must be willing to continually evolve, to innovate and reinvent, to move beyond our comfort zones and step into the unknown. That’s the path to success. 

So here are some lessons I’ve learned this year. 

1. It starts with a decision.  Nothing happens until you make a decision.  I’d been considering starting Big Impact Speaking for several months.  I toyed with the idea. I dreamed about it. Nothing much happened.

But once I made the decision, I went into action. I figured out what I had to do.  And I began to do it.

2.  You have to be all in.  The path before me seemed a bit daunting.  But I was all in.  I knew I would do whatever it took.  I would learn what I needed to learn, and do what I needed to do.  I was on a mission—to help entrepreneurs learn to use speaking to get more clients, make more money, and have a bigger impact.  And I was super focused on helping as many entrepreneurs as I could.

3.  Strategy rocks!  There are a lot of moving parts in any business. There are a lot of opportunities and bright shiny objects that could be pursued (and I love me some bright, shiny objects!).

Having a strategy, and taking the action steps to make that strategy a reality keeps me focused. 

4.  It takes a village.  I wrote about this in my newsletter a couple of weeks ago. You can read the post here if you missed it. http://www.feistywomenrock.com/got-a-village.html   I’ve finally learned that I can’t do it all. I have a fabulous team and great resources that help me make it all happen.

5.  Become more.  With every thing I learn, every stretch goal I accomplish, every new thing I create, I evolve.  I reach more of my potential.  I grow.  I’m able to help more people.  I “rinse and repeat” and grow some more.  It’s exhilarating!

So what about you?

• Are you willing to grow, to evolve, to move out of your comfort zone?
• And what will you do TODAY to begin to make that happen?

Bookmark It

“The ultimate reason for setting goals is

to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

This was Paul Martinelli’s thought of the day on Monday.  And it is absolutely true!

You see, when you set a bit goal, you have to learn new things, connect with new people, find new resources.  You have to grow and develop and change. You have to become more.

You become bigger.  You live more of your potential. You can impact more people with what you offer. 

My friend Edie Galley called when I was in the middle of writing this blog post.  I told her what I was writing about, and she told me she’d recently reached a goal she’d been working on for two years.   

She said, “I love myself for who I had to become to reach that goal.  The end goal wasn’t the big thing.  How much did I have to grow, how much did I have to think, how much did I have to change to make that happen?  I had to become somebody more than I was in order to reach the goal. ”

So what about you? 

• What beliefs about yourself and what you can do would you have to let go of in order to go after what you really want?
• Are you willing to change?  Going after a big goal absolutely requires that willingness.  You can’t get bigger results if you’re not willing to change and grow!
• Are you willing to ask for help?  You’ll need to connect with people who know things you don’t know, and have done things you haven’t done.  You’ll have to ask for support.  You’ll need to find people to help you along the way.

So, set those big goals.  Be willing to change and grow.  And watch your business catapult to new levels of success!

I want to tell you about two big things going on…

The 4^th Annual Prosperity Conference with Jack Canfield and me!

This Un-Conference takes your business to the next level with All Star Experts to coach and guide you. Jack Canfield, Nancy Matthews, Simon T. Bailey, Craig Duswalt, Trish Carr, Wendi Blum, and ME!  Palm Beach, September 16-18

World Class speakers with real solutions to your real problems!

Check it out!  

Click below

 bit.ly/qW9gUE

The other big thing is a f*ree call with me! 

I’ve been talking to so many entrepreneurs lately who want to grow their business, make more money, and get their message out and have a bigger impact.

They want a foolproof way to fill their pipeline with ideal clients.

So I’m hosting this fr*ee call on September 14 to show you how to do this!

For all the information, click on this link…

http://bigimpactspeaking.com/rock10week/ava/

I hope to see you on this call.  No charge. Great information!

Bookmark It

It’s my intention to get up at 6am, and be out on one of our local trails by 7am, walking with Bud the Beagle at least three days a week.  However, finding the motivation to do this sometimes eludes me.

So I got smart. I have different girlfriends that I meet on different days of the week.  Sometimes it’s two days, sometimes it’s four, but every week, Bud the Beagle and I meet one of my girlfriends (and sometimes their dogs) for an hour or hour and a half walk.

Whether I want to get out of bed or not, someone is waiting for me, so I get my butt up and go.

My ex says that “it takes a village” to get me out walking.  And it does.  I need the accountability.

I use the same principle in my business.

There are things I’m great at—things that are in my sweet spot. I’m a great speaker and coach. I’m great at developing new programs and products.  I’m great at motivating other people, and helping them get from where they are to where they’d like to be.

So I focus my efforts there.  I love connecting with other people, and spend time doing that.

And I have created a village for the rest.  Ellen Bryant is genius at graphic design.  Me?  Not so much.  So Ellen is creating everything I need for my new brand.

Darcee Sellers is brilliant at all the stuff that goes into actually making my business work.  She gets my weekly newsletter out, has handled my sales pages, opt-in pages, autoresponders, shopping cart interfaces, and all the things that make things happen. She enjoys and excels at things that would make me crazy, and that I don’t understand.

Bryn Johnson is currently a mentor for me. Her sweet spot is planning and systems, two areas where I can use support.  And she knows way more than I do about processes for internet marketing.

I have an ex who is my best friend, who sees me through the stressful times, and celebrates with me when things go well in my business.

I go to a spiritual women’s group once a month, meet with many of my speaker buddies for a girl’s night out every couple of months, and have a host of brilliant friends and colleagues I can call for information and support.

That’s my village. My business could not be successful without them.  I am grateful for all that they do.

What about you?

• Are you trying to “lone ranger” it and do it all yourself?
• Are you sinking because you’re afraid or embarrassed to ask for help?
• Are you wasting time and spinning your wheels because you’re putting too much effort at things that are not your genius?

My advice?  Knock it off!

Figure out what your passion and talents are.  Know what your genius, your sweet spot is. Focus your efforts on what you’re great at.

And invite people to become part of your village to help with the rest.

Your success and your sanity depend on it!

Bookmark It

“Fear is one thing.

To let fear grab you and swing you around

by the tail is another.”

~Katherine Paterson

I’ve got some big, new things I’m developing in my business. I don’t know everything I need to know to make them happen. And I’m scared.  And that makes me happy!

You might be wondering, “Ava, why in the world would you be happy that you’re scared?”

I’m happy because it means I’m doing something big, something new, something that is going to stretch me and take me beyond what I’ve done before. I’ll have to learn new stuff, connect with new people.  It will require different thinking, new skills, and ongoing transformation of me and my business.

And that’s exciting.

I’ll have to move from my comfort zone into what I call my learning zone.  I’ll have to think bigger, play bigger, and risk bigger—which is both scary and exciting.

And I’m all in. I’m ready.

What about you? When you’re going after something big, and fear comes up (and it does for all of us), how do you react?  Do you throw your hands up in the air, yell “Yippeee!”, celebrate that you’re growing and taking a risk, and know that you just need to move beyond the fear and go after what you want?

Or do you let fear stop you, keep you small, and keep you from your goals and dreams?

It really is a choice!  It’s up to you.  Are you willing to be afraid?  Share your thoughts below…

Bookmark It

Last week, I talked to a colleague who lost 110 pounds.  She’s a speaker and trainer, and wants to create a program to help people reach any goal.

I offered to spend an hour brainstorming with her, so that I could help her focus her message, define her process, and figure out how to make it unique and “not like everyone else.”

I love helping people laser-focus their message, so I was excited to talk with her yesterday morning.  I began by asking her about the steps to achieving any goal.  What she told me sounded like what everyone else who talks about goal setting talks about.  I knew we had to make it hers.  I knew we had to make it unique.  I knew we hadn’t hit on it yet.

The problem is, no one is buying what everyone else is offering. No one is buying something that doesn’t have them think, “She can solve my problem!”  No one is buying something that doesn’t immediately take them toward big results.

We began tossing around ideas. I had a thesaurus program open so that we could look for synonyms for some ideas we had. And suddenly, I found a word that ignited the message.  Revolution. I paired it with results. That’s what people want—results.

She is starting the “Results Now Revolution.”  And she’s going to be the Results Revolutionary.

This works on so many levels.  What would you rather attend—a seminar where someone is talking about how to write down and achieve your goals, or one where you are invited to join the “Results Now Revolution”?

Not only does this give her a way to make her steps and her system unique, it is the umbrella under which all of her messaging can come. She also has what one of my mentors, Suzanne Evans, calls “a movement.” She doesn’t just have a seminar, she has a “movement” that can have lots of components.

So here are some questions to ask yourself in your business:

• Is my message crystal clear, or do I confuse potential buyers by being all over the place?
• Is my message a client magnet? Is it something that is perfectly designed to solve the problems of my perfect clients?
• Do I have multiple ways of delivering this message?  Am I out speaking and talking with people?
• Am I consistent with my messaging?

These questions will help you ensure that your message brings you business!

Bookmark It

I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately talking with women entrepreneurs.  I love these conversations, because the women I talk with are passionate and excited about the difference they can make—but they are often getting in their own way.

I have a speaking gig tomorrow where I’ll be speaking to women about getting out of their own way, and about taking a leadership role.  As I was creating the handout for that session, I decided to put in a page about reclaiming your power.

Once I’d developed the list, I knew I wanted to share it with my community. So here it is:

1. Live your life today.  Don’t put your life on hold waiting to be something that you’re not.  Live your life to its fullest- right now!  Don’t wait until “someday,” until you “have it all together,” until “the stars line up.”  Today.  Now. No waiting.

2.  Treat yourself with respect and kindness. You will make mistakes.  You’re human.  Forgive yourself, learn what you can, and move on.  Be gentle with yourself.  You deserve it. No beating yourself up.

3.  Believe in yourself. Give yourself praise.  Focus on what you’re doing well.  Recognize yourself and feel gratitude for all the good you do- big and small.  Make a list of 25 things you’re proud of that you’ve accomplished over the last year.

4.  Visualize yourself as a success.  Your subconscious mind will act to turn your thoughts and beliefs into your reality.  What we believe, we can achieve.  Visualization is a powerful tool.  Use it daily.

5.  Develop yourself. Take time out of each day for self development and reflection.  Read (or listen to) a motivational message.  Be quiet with yourself and/or your spiritual guidance.  Grow a little each day.  Be willing to have “beginner’s mind.”

6.  Choose happiness. Commit yourself to it. It’s your choice.  Choose the half full glass instead of the half empty one.  I love the quote by Abraham Lincoln, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

7.  Dream big. Acknowledge the power within you.  What you can conceive in thought and believe in your heart, you can achieve in your life.  Never give up.  Go after what you really want. Don’t settle.

8.  Use positive affirmations.  It takes only 21 days for something to become a habit.  Combining visualization and affirmations will take you into the future you desire.

9.  Discover your unique purpose.  Finding your purpose or passion can be something that adds amazing focus and power to your life.  Everything falls into place.  Everything makes sense.  Your actions are focused on the difference you want to make in the world.

10. Remember that you’re unique.  No one else can do what you do in the way you do it.  Confidently share who you are.  Live juicy.  Tell your truth.  Stand in your power.

So which of these steps speaks to you?  Is there more than one?  Take some time this week to focus on the ones that will make the biggest difference in your life.

Bookmark It

You can learn new things at any time in your life

if you’re willing to be a beginner.

If you actually learn to like being a beginner,

the whole world opens up to you.

~Barbara Sher

We were born knowing very little. And over our lifetime, we’ve accumulated skills, knowledge, abilities, and expertise.  Some of us keep learning; others stop at a certain point.

Those that stop get to the point that they don’t want to look silly, they don’t want to look like they don’t have their act together, so they stop trying new things. And they get left behind.

In today’s world, things are moving too fast to stay where we are.  We must be open to new ideas, new experiences, new learning opportunities.  We must be willing to evolve, to reinvent, and to redefine ourselves.

And sometimes that means being a beginner.  It means not having it all together.  It means being willing to make mistakes, to learn from them, and to grow.

It means reading books, going to classes, getting coaching, attending learning events, and trying out new things.

I wouldn’t tell you to do something I’m not doing myself.  In the last couple of months, I’ve presented on two telesummits (new skill for me), learned how to do mosaics, took a pottery sculpture workshop, hired a new coach, took a sales skills workshop, and read two books in my field.

I’d challenge you to make a commitment to learn something new in the next 60 days.  Be brave. Try something you’ve wanted to try.  Be a beginner.  And open up your world.

Bookmark It

I’m going to admit something to you that I’m a little bit embarrassed by.  I watch America’s Got Talent. Now, I’m not much of a television person—I pretty much watch Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and HGTV.  But there’s something about America’s Got Talent that I really like.

I like seeing the amazing, undiscovered talent of some of the contestants.  And watching some of the less talented people is a bit like slowing down at the scene of an accident. I want to look away, but somehow I can’t.

Tuesday night, though, one of the contestants said something that I want to share with you. To give those of you who don’t watch the show some background, The Miami All Stars are a 42 person dance troupe from Miami. A husband and wife, who dance in the troupe, have trained the 40 young dancers.

Tuesday, they had a challenge. After rehearsing all week, they found out that there were legal issues with the song they were using, and they were not able to use that music.  Just hours before their live performance, they had to change the music, and therefore their act.

They did a fabulous job. The audience and the judges loved them.  After their performance, Nick Cannon, the host, asked, “How does it feel?”

I loved the leader’s answer. He said, “It feels great because we had some issues with the music, and we just got it a few hours ago.  And we had to get through. But life is about that. You must get through what life gives you. It is what it is. We don’t find excuses in this group.”

Now I don’t know about you, but I find that profoundly wise.  They could have let the sudden music shift blow their confidence.  They could have used it as an excuse not to give a stellar performance.  But they didn’t. They took a “no excuses” position, and did what it took to revamp the act and perform with excellence.

It got me thinking about speaking in front of audiences.  Often, things go wrong.  The speaker before you goes long, and your time is cut.  The meeting planner forgot to copy your handouts.  Although you had an agreement in advance that this would not happen, the wait staff is clearing the dishes off the tables during your after-dinner speech and is distracting the audience.

These things happen.  It’s critical that we take a “no excuses” stance when faced with these obstacles, and still deliver a speech that “wows” our audience and makes a difference in their lives. We have to be able to make it work and give our audience the experience they deserve.

It also got me thinking about our businesses.  Do you take a “no excuses” position and do what it takes to get the results that you want? Or do you let obstacles, setbacks, and circumstances get in your way?  Do you find excuses as to why you didn’t accomplish what you committed to do? Do you cut yourself too much slack?

I invite you to be like the Miami All Stars.  Let go of excuses, and blame and complaining.  And watch your life, your speaking, and your business transform.

Bookmark It