Stacey has a good job in a growing organization. She’s smart, energetic, and creative—and she’s underperforming. Her boss is unhappy with her work.
She lacks focus. Stacey doesn’t seem to be able to set priorities, execute on those priorities, and get her contributions recognized. She’s floundering. As I talked to her about this, she moaned, “If I only had a mentor!”
Mentoring Has Changed Forever
Stacey was making a common mistake. She was looking for someone to take her under their wing for the next several years and shepherd her through her career. It’s not likely to happen!
Ronna Lichtenberg, in her book It’s Not Business, It’s Personal: The 9 Relationship Principles That Power Your Career says, “It’s an urban fairy tale—that somewhere out there is that special someone, a mentor, who will take over your career, then not only guide you through it, but hack through the jungle ahead of you, machete in hand, to make space for you to grow, and then in a final burst of energy, whip out a magic wand and grant you not just the job you’ve always wanted, but a bulletproof vest to protect you from the flak that’s gonna be flying at you once you get it. Oh, and the mentor expects nothing in return, except for the deep, quiet satisfaction of knowing that you got what you truly deserved.”
Mentoring has changed forever. In today’s world, a mentor is anyone who has information or experience that would be helpful to you. The mentoring relationship is often an organic one, and may last anywhere from a few minutes to a lifetime. You might be both a mentor and a mentee at the same time—even with the same person.
The Sixty Minute Mentor
If mentoring would be helpful in your business or your life, identify what you need help with. Then identify someone who knows what you need to know.
Ask that person if they’d be willing to spend some time with you answering your questions and providing some guidance. Offer to take them to lunch, buy them a cup of coffee, or meet with them at their location.
Plan some questions in advance. Use their time wisely. That sixty minutes might prove to be exactly what you need to move forward, or it might turn into a longer term relationship. Your sixty minute mentor might also suggest some other folks you might talk with.
Mentoring Moments
Some people won’t have time for an in person meeting. Ask if you can have fifteen minutes of their time over the phone. You’ll rarely be refused. It’s amazing what you can learn in 15 minutes of focused time.
Make Sure You Give
How can you be of service to your sixty minute mentor? Be creative. Do you know something that would be of help to them? Is there a connection you could make for them with one of your contacts? Is there an article you could send them?
Share Your Tips
What tips do you have for being a mentor or a mentee? Please share them below. We can all learn from each other!
Download the Feisty Woman's Manifesto! Hang it up for daily inspiration!
Comments
SO beautifully written and great advice. I have had some GREAT mentors of late but they are organic relationships that are mutually beneficial. I love being told exactly HOW I can help my mentors even as they are offering tremendous value to me. I also mentor a lot of people, some as part of my role as a coach and some over coffee or lunch “just because.” And the tips you give them for making the most of the relationship are dead on!
Well done! Love this mentoring perspective Ava. Thank you.
If you’re reading these comments and don’t know of Dixie and Dondi who commented above, click on their names and check them out. They both rock, and Dondi has a new book out, Career Moves.
Ava – great post and an excellent topic. It’s funny that there is this implied ‘urban business myth’ that the magical mentor godmother will swoop down and make it all alright. In reality, we’re our own godmother and those that can embrace her, even when she’s telling you to do all those things that you don’t want to do (but should), are the ones that can rise past their own limitations. (or perhaps I just need medication for all those voices in my head!)
Having said this, my godmother is telling me to stop reading blogposts and surfing twitter and get home… so, thanks for sharing and good night!
-Dee
Nice article. Ava.
To bridge off of what you’re saying, I wrote a piece for TheLadders called, “Creating a Portfolio of Mentors,” which I’ve archived at: http://www.ggci.com/Articles/TheLadders-2006-09-04.htm.
Your readers might find it a helpful adjunct to your blog post, Ava.
(See you on twitter! @ggci; @LeadershipHaiku.)
Thanks for adding your article link, Barry. Another great way of thinking about mentoring!
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Leave a comment